How to Survive the New Year's Resolutions Effect
- Anne (RD)
- Feb 1, 2023
- 10 min read
I’d venture to guess that most Americans have experienced what I call the ‘New Year’s Resolutions Effect.’ Let me paint the picture- it’s the last week of December or the first day of the New Year and you think to yourself, "I should make some resolutions for the year shouldn’t I?" So you sit down and think about it for 5 minutes and scribble down some ideas. Or you just pick up your phone and tell Siri to make a quick list. You end up with a list of maybe 5-10 things you want to see happen this year. The list has things on it like 1) eat healthier 2) exercise more 3) eat out less 4) lose weight 5) build muscle 6) save money 7) buy a house 8) write a book....
Fast forward to the next phase of trying to do your resolutions. Usually the main strategy is to just go ‘all in,' try really hard, and hope against hope that everything will work out and the changes will stick. Week one goes by and you’ve checked off your habit tracker successfully on your resolution to eat healthier. Week two comes along and a new project pops up at work and you have to go to a lunch meeting at a place that doesn’t offer “healthy” options. And then you have to travel unexpectedly and can’t keep your routine.
Sometimes it's those kinds of speed-bump interruptions that can make you feel like it’s impossible to continue. You might find yourself saying something like, “Well, I’ve already failed on keeping that resolution today, I guess that’s it! I tried.” And sometimes it’s not the speedbumps that get to you, it’s the monotony and fatigue that set in when the initial burst of energy wears off. You might just fizzle out on your resolutions and quietly let them go, or you might experience a full on burnout/hitting the brick wall situation.
Whether your New Year’s resolutions just got quietly put down or they proverbially burst into flames, you end up running into a little backlash when it comes to your thoughts and emotions too. When the resolutions list doesn't work out, and the habit tracker goes blank it's typical to get hit with thoughts like-
I guess I’m not meant to eat healthy
I’m just not an exerciser
It’s too hard
I need more motivation
I should be more disciplined
That food/exercise/financial plan just doesn’t work
This isn’t a good time for me to do this
I’ll do it again when _______
Enter the blame statements and rationalizations. We often will find someone or something to point our finger at to metabolize why things didn’t work out, or why we feel like a failure. Sometimes our finger points back toward us and we blame ourselves and sometimes we point outward and blame other people or circumstances. We also just try to make sense of what happened by explaining it away.
And then there are the feelings. You can feel all kinds of things in reaction to the experience- deflated, defeated, annoyed, bitter, hopeless, tired, etc. Usually the negative emotions are what you end up with when your resolutions don't get completed perfectly and you find them unsustainable to continue. Despite all of that, the NYRE will have you telling yourself this is a normal cycle to go through every year, even though you experienced a similar cycle last year, and the year before. You might find yourself saying, "Maybe next year!" once again.
The New Year's Resolutions Effect (NYRE) is basically a cycle, a trap even, that sends you on an intense route that's supposed to lead you to a changed life, a better life at the end of it, right? It's a widespread trend in our culture that comes every year without much of a guidebook to go along with it. So people enter in with the best of intentions, try really hard, get burned out, and naturally end up quitting. That can happen just days in, a couple weeks in, or a few months in. Hopes start out pretty high at the beginning of a new year, and the NYRE rollercoaster ride can dip pretty low too. If not done differently, the typical approach to New Year’s resolutions can actually leave you in a worse spot than before you try to work on them!
If any of that sounds familiar, it’s because that’s what the majority of resolution makers experience! From my perspective, the way our culture typically approaches New Year's resolutions is a set up for disappointment. But hold on, there is hope! Let's get into how you can break out of this unhelpful cycle!
Breaking the cycle of this New Year’s Resolutions Effect requires that you do something differently, that you change your approach somewhere in the cycle. Because the NYRE is almost an ingrained part of our culture, you have to intentionally decide to break ties with it. If it hasn’t led you somewhere positive this year, last year, or the year before, it’s time to do things differently!
You may wonder, if New Year's resolutions are so bad, why not just avoid them altogether? Well, that is one option! But I want to help you take advantage of the good parts of the resolutions season to step toward your goals rather than avoid them. The pursuit of a resolution or goal isn't the problem, but how it's pursued!
There are 3 basic phases of the NYRE cycle, and therefore 3 phases where you can help yourself break out of it. So let’s take a look at how you can stop this cycle from continuing at each phase of the resolution journey. No matter which phase you find yourself in there is a way forward!
1. BEFORE
This is the part where thoughts of the new year begin percolating and a list gets made.
2. DURING
This is the part where you're actively checking off that habit tracker and trying to make it all happen.
3. AFTER
This is the part where you've run into an interruption or simply had to throw in the towel, for one reason or another.
PHASE 1: BEFORE
Think about a cruise vacation. Most people get excited about going on the cruise and not quite as excited about planning and preparing for it. But there are some people who absolutely love the planning and preparing part of a vacation. Some people are natural planners and love to analyze things, while others prefer to just go with the flow and see what happens.
Whether planning and preparing is something you naturally love or not, the 'before' phase presents some helpful opportunities! It’s in the before that you get to really think about what you want to do, why you want to do it, and how you could achieve it. The trick with this stage is to think things through from the surface level down to the deeper, more specific levels.
Usually we stop at the surface with statements like, “I want to eat healthier.” That's a great place to begin, but to break out of the NYRE cycle, take that first thought a bit deeper and follow the 'what, why, how' framework to help the next phase go more smoothly! Let me show you one example of how this could look.
What: "I want to eat healthier by adding in one more vegetable at my dinner meal at least 3 nights per week."
You will be tempted to keep your what statement general but it’s very important to write it down and to be specific with what you want to happen. If you’ve never heard of ‘SMART goals’ or you'd like some help with the “what” stage, check out my previous blog post, “A New Way to Do the New Year!”
Why: "I want to include more vegetables at dinner meals because I want to add more nutrients to my diet, to fuel my body, and to feel better in general."
Sometimes we choose resolutions just because we think we 'should,' or because we think they’re generally a good idea. But in order for you to actually grab onto your goal and see it happen, you need to dig into a little deeper why. Go 3-5 layers deep in your why and you’ll end up finding a why that really matters to you!
And yes, even increasing your vegetable intake can have a deeper why! ☺️
How: "I’m going to make sure I have easy-to-prepare options in the house and will build vegetables into my meal planning, and/or into my food order when I'm at a restaurant."
It can help to get much more specific than this example statement. Will you keep steamable vegetables in your freezer for convenience? Will you pre-prep ingredients at the beginning of the week? Will you make different meals to accommodate? What will you order at your favorite restaurants/take out places if you wanted to include a vegetable?
I know, no one really wants to stop and make these kinds of detailed plans, but no one likes when resolutions don’t go well either, right? Taking the time and choosing discipline in the before phase really will go a long way toward breaking the New Year’s Resolutions Effect, and it will help you fulfill more of your goals in the time ahead.
PHASE 2: DURING
If you find yourself in the middle of working on your resolutions and you didn’t begin with a plan in hand, one of the best things you can do is to stop and make a fresh and intentional plan right there in the middle of things. To break out of the cycle in this phase you'll need to stay flexible because even the best laid plans require some adjusting and ‘back to the drawing board’ moments!
Know that it’s ok and normal to have to make adjustments to a plan along the way. Usually at the first sign of trouble the temptation is to throw the plan out altogether, but it doesn’t have to go that way. Instead of expecting perfection from yourself or your circumstances, make room for plan B moments.
Using our vegetable example, maybe you’ll find that you’re adding in another vegetable at 2 dinners per week, but 3 times per week just isn’t happening. The temptation at this juncture is to either double down and try even harder, or to just quit working on it because it's not happening naturally. Here are some ways you can make room for plan B:
If you feel ready to try for 3 times a week, you can take a closer look at what’s really going on in your schedule, your practical habits, and your mindset. Be on the lookout for what's getting in your way. When you do, you’ll likely be able to see where you can make a small adjustment or two that will help you get that additional serving in more easily.
Or if you feel stretched by 2 times per week already, you can adjust your plan by holding steady with getting in 2 servings for a few more weeks before trying to add in the 3rd serving. Give yourself permission to make an adjustment that keeps the heart of your goal in mind, even if it looks like it's falling short. It's still 2 more servings than you were getting in before, right?
PHASE 3: AFTER
Giving up and quitting happens. And when you're working with an unreasonable resolution that's sometimes exactly what's needed! How you respond when you find yourself in the after phase will determine whether you pick up your goals again in a new way (phases 1 & 2) or you simply move on and try it all again next year, repeating the cycle. Everyone reacts to a sense of failure differently, but after the initial waves of reaction come through, you get to choose how you will respond. What will you do with what's happened and how you feel about it? Will you make a new plan and try again? Will you leave your goals behind? Will you ask for help?
One of the worst parts of the NYRE is that it tends to steal from you. When you don't experience the success you imagined, and you feel a sense of failure instead, it can tempt you to believe something negative about yourself or that your goals are just out of reach for you. Though the season begins with such high hopes, the NYRE has a way of stealing that sense of hope. And when the hope goes, sometimes you let your goals go too. What a robbery right?
Break out the NYRE in this critical phase and keep ahold of the heart of your goals by taking these steps forward:
REST: take a breather and recover over a few days or a week from the New Year’s hustle
RESET YOUR PLAN: see phase 1
BEGIN AGAIN: see phase 2
GET SUPPORT: add in support where you can- accountability, guidance, encouragement, etc
Even if that New Year’s Resolutions Effect has gotten to you this year, and even if you're only able to break the cycle from the "after" stage, there's hope for your resolutions! You may need to take a little bit of time to rest and reset and that's completely fine. Your goals will be ready when you are. It’s still a fresh, new year, and the truth is every day is a new day even if it’s not January 1st. Get after your goals again in a new way and see what happens!
Stay firm in your pursuit of healthy change, but flexible in how you go about it!
I hope this blog post has helped to validate any New Year’s resolutions struggles you’ve had and given you an alternative to “well, maybe next year.” We've all ridden the resolutions rollercoaster, but you can get off at any time! Whether it's before you begin, in the middle, or after things seem to fall apart.
And contrary to what it can feel like, no, there's nothing wrong with you and yes, you can still see healthy changes happen in your life! Oftentimes the real culprits are the lack of planning, the one strategy process (just try harder), and the missing support for dealing with missteps and failures! Making the necessary tweaks can break the cycle and keep you on your way to seeing the change you'd hoped for.
You’re normal if you’ve found yourself on the resolutions rollercoaster
You’re wise if you choose to get off the ride (and not get on again)
You’re exceptional if you don’t quit on the heart of your goals
A lot of times with New Year’s resolutions we take on these big life changes and it ends up feeling like it’s too much to carry alone….because most of the time it is! One of the things that can make taking on big life changes easier is to find support where you can! Truthfully, all of us do better with accountability and encouragement, and often we need guidance too! If you still have that big change in mind, but you’re realizing you’d like support in your process, I’d encourage you to seek it out! Find a registered dietitian, a personal trainer, a counselor, or another professional near you that can help you in your health journey.
Being a registered dietitian in weight management means I get to walk with people through their process and offer all kinds of support along the way. If you’d like to talk about how I could bring simplicity and ease to your weight loss journey, feel free to explore the website to learn more and sign up for a free discovery call!
Get RD Nutrition is a virtual nutrition counseling practice for residents of North Carolina- offering weight management counseling, right where you are!
Comments